getting on with it

its been a busy week..

ive been catching up,, finishing,, starting projects that i have put on the back burner for too long..alot of the reasons why i did that was because i said,, ahhh i`ll do it tommorow...

since my dogs passing ive been doing alot of thinking about myself and about my life.

i have to realize that i dont have tommorow , that this might be my last day here on earth.. and its scares the shit of me... im scared to lose my mother, im scared to lose my whole family..
the other night i had a dream i lost my mother,, it was a nightmare....

but im not getting younger,, im close to 26,, i know thats still young but, its so much closer to 30... and when i hit 30 what will i say, on how i lived my life in my 20's... did i live it to the fullest... did i do what i set out to...

i have to do more...in every aspect in my life... too long have i sat down and watch life pass me...too long

theres a great line from shawshank redemption

get busy living , or get busy dying...

i think i want to live