the day after
its the morning after..
my first morning with out her..my apartment never felt so empty...never sounded so quite.......
there no dog barking in the backyard,, no dog scraping at my door,, so wet nose to wake me up....
i passed by her bed this morning,, to say good morning, i like i always do..i filled up her water bowl...
i keep thinking that shes just outside,, and shes waiting to come back in..but when i open the door the backyard is as empty as the apartment....and my heart is even more empty.....
my mom sleep over last night on my sofa,, i thought it was a silly thing to do, but it helped, i didnt feel as alone....
con edsion came by this morning to read the meters, and rang the bell..now sometimes i wouldnt hear the bell , but the dog would, and she would start barking....there was no bark...sometimes that bark would annoy the hell out of me... but today its the only sound i wanted to hear...
if there was a way i can turn back time....i would... if theres a way i could make the pain go away....i would..
i miss you denise....im sorry.. i feel i have to say im sorry,, she looked at me before they took her...it was a look of sadness.... im sorry baby... im sorry...
posted by Ego Manic @ 9:34 AM
2 Comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss. Five years ago I had to let my 13-year-old beagle go because her back legs were paralyzed and there was nothing the vet could do. It was the hardest, most tearful decision I've ever had to make. I few days after she died, and I'd done so much crying about it, I had a dream about her. She ran up to me, with her tail wagging, and said "Don't be sad, Mommy. I'm fine. I love you."
:-( ,, your dream brought a tear to my eye...
i hope i have the same dream,,, that she will visit me there...
thank you for your comments,, its comforting to know there are people out there,, who have lose a pet...and they understand what it feels like..
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