Her ashes

i got my dogs ashes back from the vet today... i went alone...

i was nervous going, i didnt know how i was going to react, ididnt know what to think..
so they handed me a bag with a tin can inside,, i said thanks and walked out.

i sat in my car for a few min, then opened the tin can,, there was plastic bag inside, tied with a twisty...they look like sand, with rocks,, concerte..

this is what my dog has become,,, i had mixed emotions,, i was most def. sad, but iwas weirded out by the fact that this was my dog,, this bag of sand and rock was the dog i cared about,, here in my hand..

im glad i came home with her ,, finally i got my dog home,, well part of her home,, what is left of her remains...

im still feeling numb about it,, im about to transfer her ashes to her urn, and i have to make a choice where to put it.. for now i`ll leave the urn in her bed,, till i find a nice small tabel for the corner in my apartment hallway, i`ll make sort of shrine there, with her photos, toys, etc....

i still dont know how to react still and im looking at them now.....

i miss her

this apartment never felt so empty...

but been trying to stay busy,, keep my mind active,, working,, trying to live somewhat a normal life,, taking it one day at a time